The Pie Baker

Fresh from the Oven

Ghetto Fabulous

I did it of my own free will. Left to my own devices, I came to the conclusion that the Pie should witness first hand the joy and fascination of the circus. I grew up attending the Shrine circus with my parents and later volunteered there selling novelties and concessions. My time spent at the circus was wondrous and entertaining. I only wanted my daughter to share the experience. What the hell was I thinking?

The Pie is 2 years old. She likes animals and shiny things… seems only likely that the circus could combine those things into a memorable night out for a toddler. So, I enlisted the aid of my friends, the Pie’s Mimi and Poppy, and we set out for… ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, The Ghetto Circus!! The event was held in a field under the Big Top (uh, huh…sure) and it had been raining lightly most of the day. After slogging through the mud to the tent, we were seated in make shift bleachers that opened and closed on a whim, seemingly by the power of a poltergeist.

Since I paid a ridiculously inflated price to upgrade from my FREE ticket, we were luckily seated near the center ring (the ONLY ring) so the Pie had a pretty good view of the…um… action. I, however, enjoyed the talents of a pole all evening. As we waited in our cold, hard seats, I scanned the crowd in attendance. The first thing to catch my eye was an ice blue track suit trimmed in silvery metallic fabric. Sporting this ensemble was a large Jewish woman just of the plane from Boca Raton, covered in “dinner jewelry” and proudly displaying her bouffant, highlighted wig. Apparently, she had decided that her general admission seats were unacceptable and decided up upgrade to the VIP ringside seats – which, by the way were white plastic patio chairs placed precariously in a mud hole. As I watched her sink into her VIP white plastic patio chair, then further into the mud, I thought the show was about to start with a parade. But I was mistaken. A local family who evidently knew more about Budweiser than birth control ambled along in a line before me, chaotically attempting to keep their brood together. My guess is that Mama Freak couldn’t name her natural hair color if her life depended on it and that Daddy Freak hadn’t seen his own feet in nearly a decade. What a sight they were, with the dozen or so little Freaks peeping up around them like baby birds for cotton candy, popcorn, sno-cones and lighted novelties. Just precious.

Finally, the show began and the Ringmaster, who much too closely for my liking, resembled the comic book store owner from The Simpsons, announced the first act, the Spinning Hoochie Sisters, or something like that. The two gals did some aerial stunts and then spun around on a pole “high above the earth” and when they did, a pouch of sparkly confetti burst forth from their beauty supply store add-on pony-tails! It was mesmerizing. Really, I mean it. They were followed by a sad little pack of poodles that ranged in color from eggshell to ecru to just plain beige and were sorely in need of a brush – and perhaps an electric razor. In any case, they managed to jump around a bit and roll down a slide on a skateboard. The canine performers were led by a chick that looked suspiciously like the lady that runs donut shop by my house, and she managed to garner a smattering of applause from the dozens of people in attendance. Nice job, Maria!

Now, I like to pay attention to details. It’s a gift… and a curse. As the show worn on… I mean continued, I noticed that the performers were the same group of about 8 people. The Flying Hoopdeedoo Family were the same people as The Flipping Yaddayaddas, who were the same people who defied the “Double Ring of Destiny” – I didn’t catch their names. The advertising featured a statement that the circus brought together “hundreds” of performers from around the world but they must have had the night off. Some of those gals looked like the circus wasn’t necessarily their first choice of career, either…if you get what I’m trying to say. Although, some of the “stunts” looked very familiar to what I have seen take place on a pole in a dark room with loud music. Or at least what I’ve HEARD about… er, okay, moving on.

Here’s the kicker: the Pie absolutely LOVED it! She was enraptured by all the sights, sounds and smells of the circus – particularly the animals. She loves animals and relishes every opportunity to interact with them. Her dark blue eyes sparkled with delight as the ladies performed daring stunts and the men displayed feats of strength. She nibbled on cotton candy and even went home with an inflatable SpongeBob SquarePants. She chattered all the way home about the circus and everything she saw. She rode on a pony and experienced things she had never even imagined in that very actively imaginative brain! So, for her, the ghetto was fabulous!

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October 6, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. Yep, what she said, I was there, I saw these things, however, Vivi’s shouts of sheer delight were so worth the discomfort. She adored every moment as she travelled from one of her adults’ arms to the other-we could have been in the ring as the Amazing Toddler Shufflers. I am so gratful that I am able to share in her joy and wonderment, it is a beautiful thing to behold.

    Comment by Donna | October 6, 2009 | Reply


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