The Pie Baker

Fresh from the Oven

In Bed….

Whenever friends and I go out for Chinese food, we always play this game with the fortune cookies. Whatever the fortune says, we add the words, “in bed” to the end of it. For example, “A dark stranger will bring you pleasure…IN BED.” “You will become famous for your special gift…IN BED.” “You will lose everything you hold dear…IN BED.” You get the idea. I recently discovered that there are other things that make the words “in bed” a humorous addition to almost any phrase. Of course, this has to do with my daughter – what else?

I found some juicy specimens…IN BED. The adorable Pie has learned to open the refrigerator and she helped herself to a couple of strawberries. What she didn’t want, she left buried beneath my pillows. Yeah, you figure out what happened next.

I need more measuring spoons…IN BED. As an avid cook, I have about 3 or 4 sets of measuring spoons that are kept in a drawer that the Pie can evidently access. I went to bake a cake and couldn’t find measuring spoons anywhere – until I went to bed that night and discovered them under the covers at the foot of my bed, where the jangling startled me into a mild coronary event.

I need to go potty…IN BED. I haven’t begun potty training her in earnest yet, but the Pie has used the potty chair many times. Lately, I have tried letting her wear big girl underwear around the house. Once, she looked at me with an urgency that meant I’d better pay attention, and then said, “Pee.” I asked if she need to go potty, to which she nodded her head and proceeded to pee standing up in the middle of my bed. It was a long night of laundry.

A girl loves chocolate…IN BED. I used to have a very strict rule that the Pie was not allowed to have chocolate. However, a few people in our circle decided to ignore the rule and introduce my daughter to the joy and agony that is chocolate. She loves to eat it, hold it, mold it, smear it, smash it….well, you get the point. While I was in the kitchen one evening, she toddled up to me and said, “Dirty.” And she was. Her face and hands, neck and chest were covered in chocolate like it was some kind of kiddie spa treatment! Like the good Mommy that I am, I calmly sat her in the kitchen sink and cleaned her up. About 2 hours later, when it came time for me to hit the hay, I was greeted by disturbing brown swipes across my pillows.

Let’s plant some lavender seeds…IN BED. I have a little pouch that a friend gave me that sits over your eyes when trying to fall asleep that contains fresh lavender. It is a soothing aroma that usually assuages my headaches and helps me relax. One afternoon, my darling daughter decided to turn into the toddler version of Inspector Clouseau and open every drawer in my nightstand. Oh, yes EVERY drawer – and I think you know what I’m trying to say….but that’s an entirely different blog post! She discovered the pouch and it’s supposedly hidden zipper. When I entered the bedroom, I spied in the center of my bed, an almost crop-circle like design of lavender seeds. That was about 3 weeks ago – and I am still “finding” them. I found one in the shower one day and didn’t even want to think where it had been hiding!

So – not EVERYTHING is more fun in bed…maybe I should invest in a bubble….


April 13, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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